Can you be Accountable in Secret?

BUGTIMEI know, I know, it’s been an awfully long time since my last post. I am grateful that Jason posteed yesterday. I have been wanting to make this post for a few days but let life get in the way of it.
The past month has been a real struggle. Ever since getting ready for my trip to Ottawa a few weeks ago I just started to shut down a little. You all know my fear of flying and my attempts at overcoming that fear. This past trip I went drug free so that I could experience the flight. What I’ve come to realize over the past little while is that I am not afraid of flying, I’m just afradi of the stress and uncomfortability that comes with flying. (That might not make sense to some, but perfect sense to me, hehe)
Anyway, the stress of travelling “helped” me throw caution into the wind, especially where my eating is concerned. I fell back into old trpas that I haven’t done in quite a while. I found myself making a few trips to Timmies for a donut, or McD’s for a burger. The immediate guilt was justified by myself as a need to help calm my nerves. But then the habit stayed after I got home and continued for another 2 weeks.
It was not suprising when last weeks weign in came, and I was feeling sick (but not so sick that I couldn’t stand on a scale). I called Jason and said I wouldn’t be able to make weign in. This week was better, I didn’t eat out and I started to drink a little more water again. But I have still been snacking poorly and making other poor choices. When weigh in came this week, I was VERY tempted to just not call Jason and hope that he forgot, but then I realized, we are in this together. We have both made some mistakes. If I don’t weigh in I am going to set a presidence and then i am going to go down that road again. So we weighed in. I was up another 2 lbs. Thank our Heavenly Father it was only 2 lbs, it should have been much worse.
This is the reason for the title this week; we can’t be accountable to one another if we are not talking to one another. This was the reason for the blog too, and you can see how often I have been blogging since my downward spiral.
I can’t, CAN”T, do this alone. I need people to ask me what’s up? How’s it going? Have you walked today? Did you drink water today? Why are you shoving that twinkie down your throat? I need the accountability or I will fall on my own.
Funny, its the same way with my relationship with our Lord. If left to my own devices I would probably not pray each day, I would probably allow my relationship with Jesus to become lukewarm, not for sure, but possibly. I know It’s good to have someone ask me how my prayer life is going, have I made it to confession lately? That is the beauty of marriage. My bride KNOWS when i haven’t been praying or when I NEED to go to confession. She can see it in the way I behave towards her and our children. I am blest to have her in my life.
So I have recommitted (seems like I “recommit” alot, but that is like confession too, constantly admitting I have failed somehow, and committing myself to not doing it again). anyway, back to recommittment, I have recommitted myself to drinking about 3 litres of water a day, to not eating after 8 and to pray for my brother Jason. These two simple “diet” goals and one very substantial spiritual goal will help me be accoutnable for another week. Then I can look at loftier goals again.
Before I sign off, one more thought. Fr. Floyd spoke in his homily yesterday about the gift of gratefulness. I tell my kids all the time to be grateful for things. How often do I listen to my own advice? So this week, I encourage each of you to seek out something daily that you are truly grateful for, and let God know that you are grateful for it. For me, I am always grateful for my family and friends but I will try to be grateful for the assumed things more. Yesterday I was blest and beyong grateful for taking a trip win a 1973 Volkswagen Beetle with my boy Patrick. Although it was a short trip, it will definitely be on my life’s highlight reel.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
PAx et bonum,

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